Elsie+Locke+2011

__Tuesday 14th June 2011__

The bus rumbled along the highway. The smallest little bump in the road would cause the entire bus to shudder aggressively. Matthew flung his bag onto the seat behind him. “Watch it” screamed a startled girl in the back seat. She tossed Matthew’s bag back over to him. “Don’t make to many sudden movements” warned the boy sitting in the seat parallel to Matthew’s. The boy had short, black, spiky hair and a sinister grin. “You see, these busses are always slipping off the road. You hear about it all of the time on the news. In fact there is actually a bus that crashed only a few killometres from here and rescue crews are still trying to find the passengers”.

“What ever” snapped Matthew. He was not in the mood for listening to such a ridiculous story because it was so cold that Matthew was burning, the stinging from the cold forced sweat from his forehead and down his cheek.

The children sat in silence as the bus’s engine droned on while the bus made it’s way towards the frozen african summit. The locals had claimed that it had been the coldest winter they have had since 1937. Suddenly the bus shuddered recklessly, breaking the silence between the two children. The buss swerved away from the narrow windy road and smashed into the frozen bank of the glacier. Matthew heard a loud crash. He looked out the window and saw the front bumper disappear over the cliff face on the opposite side of the road. Several men rushed onto the bus. Matthew finally noticed the off road vehicle marked with the colours of the gorillas, a local african gang. One man was carrying a shotgun, another was carrying a hunting knife with the blade wickedly sharpened and another man was carrying a colt pistol marked with the U.S.A military colours. The rest were unarmed. “We are taking the bus” ordered the man with a shotgun. The grey bandana around his forehead was scrunched up as his face scowled at the bus driver. “No way” replied the bus driver. The man with the pistol pointed his gun at the him and squeezed the trigger. The bus driver gave a wail of pain and defeat as he clutched his thigh, where the bullet had become lodged. A small crimson circle of blood formed around the bullet hole, staining his jeans. “This will make a good armored bus” informed the man with the knife. “It will make a valuable asset to our team” chuckled the man with the shotgun. The sound of the gunshot haunted Matthew’s thoughts. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. A loud rumbling noise behind the bus interrupted his thoughts. Matthew rotated his head and glanced out the window. Another gorilla vehicle pulled up behind the bus. A few more men climbed from the vehicle. These men were more heavily armed than the rest. One of them had an M16 sniper rifle and the rest had either AK-47’s or shotguns. They made their way towards the bus. “The african man with the grey bandana was still holding the shotgun against the drivers head. “Please don’t hurt me” cried the bus driver. Suddenly the bus driver rotated, swinging his arm out, knocking the armed gang member to the ground. He slammed his foot on the accelerator and powered forward in the bus. A man outside the bus with an AK-47 began firing at the driver seat window. The glass exploded in the drivers face and he was knocked into the isle between the two rows of seats. The bus smashed into the bank, causing the windscreen to implode. Screams of terror filled the bus, as the tidal wave of glass showered over the defenseless children. More bullets came through the windows. The children took cover as glass exploded through the buss. One of the gang members took the wheel of the bus and tried to accelerate away from the cliff face. The bus revved as the tires tried to grip on the icy road. The bus continued to skid backwards, by now at least half of the bus was over the cliff face. Another african man jumped aboard the bus, clinging onto the door frame trying to keep steady. Another shudder made another tsunami of glass implode into the bus. The man in the door ways grip weakened and he slipped over the cliff face. The wheels continued to spin as the bus finally lots it’s grip of the cliff and plummeted over the edge. Matthew clutched his arm, the blood continued to seep through his clothing. He had been cut, when the windows exploded. He knew that he had to escape, before impact with the ground, or he would die. He got up, and tried to climb to the higher end of the bus. G-force was pulling him down, but he was determined to survive. He climbed over row after row of seats, beating the odds. Shards of broken glass, sprayed over him as he climbed to safety. Another shudder, shook Matthew from his seat he was thrown like a rag doll, down and isles of seats and slammed against the rear window of the bus. The glass cracked and then shattered. Matthew felt thousands of tiny needles plunge into his back. He gave a wail of pain as G-force pulled him out the window. Matthew clung for his life, hanging off the rubber seal around the back window. He knew he had to get inside the bus, or else he would be crushed, on impact with the ground. His arms strained as he tried to haul his heavy body back inside the bus. Matthew heard the sound of ripping, wrenching and twisting metal as the branches of trees scraped the sides of the bus. He knew, he would be crushed soon. “Please” he begged, hoping that someone could hear him. With one last pull, he swung himself, inside the bus. He took a breath and looked around at his surroundings. Cries came from the eastern side of the bus. It was David, Matthew’s best friend. “Help me” he cried. His leg was caught under the seat. Adrenaline kicked in and Matthew crawled over to the seat. The horrible noise of metal being demolished, continued, to screech in Matthew’s ears. Just as he reached David, the bus collided with the Earth. A pile of snow fell on top of the bus, causing the roof to cave in even more, although now the roof was the side of the bus, as it had landed on it’s side. “You idiot” howled the furious gang member with the grey bandana. “Look what you’ve done” He reached for his shotgun that had been scattered across the floor. Blood trickled down the mans face. He held the gun to the bus drivers head before realising he was already dead. __Thursday 9th June 2011__

**Next Steps - Target** **Excellent Curtis, I was hooked right from the start. You have used good descriptive language and have an interesting story line. You need to include paragraphs in your writing. Revisit this piece of writing and make some simple changes so that the paragraphs are structured in a way that makes the story easy for the reader to read.**

The bus rumbled along the highway. The smallest little bump in the road would cause the entire bus to shudder aggressively. Matthew flung his bag onto the seat behind him. “Watch it” screamed a startled girl in the back seat. She tossed Matthew’s bag back over to him. “Don’t make to many sudden movements” warned the boy sitting in the seat parallel to Matthew’s. The boy had short, black, spiky hair and a sinister grin. “You see, these busses are always slipping off the road. You hear about it all of the time on the news. In fact there is actually a bus that crashed only a few killometres from here and rescue crews are still trying to find the passengers”. It was so cold that Matthew was burning, the stinging from the cold forced sweat from his forehead and down his cheek. “What ever” snapped Matthew. The children sat in silence as the bus’s engine droned on while the bus made it’s way towards the frozen african summit. The locals had claimed that it had been the coldest winter they have had since 1937. Suddenly the bus shuddered recklessly, breaking the silence between the two children. The buss swerved away from the narrow windy road and smashed into the frozen bank of the glacier. Matthew heard a loud crash. He looked out the window and saw the front bumper disappear over the cliff face on the opposite side of the road. Several men rushed onto the bus. Matthew finally noticed the off road vehicle marked with the colours of the gorillas, a local african gang. One man was carrying a shotgun, another was carrying a hunting knife with the blade wickedly sharpened and another man was carrying a colt pistol marked with the U.S.A military colours. The rest were unarmed. “We are taking the bus” ordered the man with a shotgun. The grey bandana around his forehead was scrunched up as his face scowled at the bus driver. “No way” replied the bus driver. The man with the pistol pointed his gun at the him and squeezed the trigger. The bus driver gave a wail of pain and defeat as he clutched his thigh, where the bullet had become lodged. A small crimson circle of blood formed around the bullet hole, staining his jeans. “This will make a good armored bus” informed the man with the knife. “It will make a valuable asset to our team” chuckled the man with the shotgun. The sound of the gunshot haunted Matthew’s thoughts. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. A loud rumbling noise behind the bus interrupted his thoughts. Matthew rotated his head and glanced out the window. Another gorilla vehicle pulled up behind the bus. A few more men climbed from the vehicle. These men were more heavily armed than the rest. One of them had an M16 sniper rifle and the rest had either AK-47’s or shotguns. They made their way towards the bus. “The african man with the grey bandana was still holding the shotgun against the drivers head. “Please don’t hurt me” cried the bus driver. Suddenly the bus driver rotated, swinging his arm out, knocking the armed gang member to the ground. He slammed his foot on the accelerator and powered forward in the bus. A man outside the bus with an AK-47 began firing at the driver seat window. The glass exploded in the drivers face and he was knocked into the isle between the two rows of seats. The bus smashed into the bank, causing the windscreen to implode. Screams of terror filled the bus, as the tidal wave of glass showered over the defenseless children. More bullets came through the windows. The children took cover as glass exploded through the buss. One of the gang members took the wheel of the bus and tried to accelerate away from the cliff face. The bus revved as the tires tried to grip on the icy road. The bus continued to skid backwards, by now at least half of the bus was over the cliff face. Another african man jumped aboard the bus, clinging onto the door frame trying to keep steady. Another shudder made another tsunami of glass implode into the bus. The man in the door ways grip weakened and he slipped over the cliff face. The wheels continued to spin as the bus finally lots it’s grip of the cliff and plummeted over the edge. Matthew clutched his arm, the blood continued to seep through his clothing. He had been cut, when the windows exploded. He knew that he had to escape, before impact with the ground, or he would die. He got up, and tried to climb to the higher end of the bus. G-force was pulling him down, but he was determined to survive. He climbed over row after row of seats, beating the odds. Shards of broken glass, sprayed over him as he climbed to safety. Another shudder, shook Matthew from his seat he was thrown like a rag doll, down and isles of seats and slammed against the rear window of the bus. The glass cracked and then shattered. Matthew felt thousands of tiny needles plunge into his back. He gave a wail of pain as G-force pulled him out the window. Matthew clung for his life, hanging off the rubber seal around the back window. He knew he had to get inside the bus, or else he would be crushed, on impact with the ground. His arms strained as he tried to haul his heavy body back inside the bus. Matthew heard the sound of ripping, wrenching and twisting metal as the branches of trees scraped the sides of the bus. He knew, he would be crushed soon. “Please” he begged, hoping that someone could hear him. With one last pull, he swung himself, inside the bus. He took a breath and looked around at his surroundings. Cries came from the eastern side of the bus. It was David, Matthew’s best friend. “Help me” he cried. His leg was caught under the seat. Adrenaline kicked in and Matthew crawled over to the seat. The horrible noise of metal being demolished, continued, to screech in Matthew’s ears. Just as he reached David, the bus collided with the Earth. A pile of snow fell on top of the bus, causing the roof to cave in even more, although now the roof was the side of the bus, as it had landed on it’s side. “You idiot” howled the furious gang member with the grey bandana. “Look what you’ve done” He reached for his shotgun that had been scattered across the floor. Blood trickled down the mans face. He held the gun to the bus drivers head before realising he was already dead.

__Wednesday 8th June 2011__

The bus rumbled along the highway. The smallest little bump in the road would cause the entire bus to shudder aggressively. Matthew flung his bag onto the seat behind him. “Watch it” screamed a startled girl in the back seat. She tossed Matthew’s bag back over to him. “Don’t make to many sudden movements” warned the boy sitting in the seat parallel to Matthew’s. The boy had short, black, spiky hair and a sinister grin. “You see, these busses are always slipping off the road. You hear about it all of the time on the news. In fact there is actually a bus that crashed only a few killometres from here and rescue crews are still trying to find the passengers”. It was so cold that Matthew was burning, the stinging from the cold forced sweat from his forehead and down his cheek. “What ever” snapped Matthew. The children sat in silence as the bus’s engine droned on while the bus made it’s way towards the frozen african summit. The locals had claimed that it had been the coldest winter they have had since 1937. Suddenly the bus shuddered recklessly, breaking the silence between the two children. The buss swerved away from the narrow windy road and smashed into the frozen bank of the glacier. Matthew heard a loud crash. He looked out the window and saw the front bumper disappear over the cliff face on the opposite side of the road. Several men rushed onto the bus. Matthew finally noticed the off road vehicle marked with the colours of the gorillas, a local african gang. One man was carrying a shotgun, another was carrying a hunting knife with the blade wickedly sharpened and another man was carrying a colt pistol marked with the U.S.A military colours. The rest were unarmed. “We are taking the bus” ordered the man with a shotgun. The grey bandana around his forehead was scrunched up as his face scowled at the bus driver. “No way” replied the bus driver. The man with the pistol pointed his gun at the him and squeezed the trigger. The bus driver gave a wail of pain and defeat as he clutched his thigh, where the bullet had become lodged. A small crimson circle of blood formed around the bullet hole, staining his jeans. “This will make a good armored bus” informed the man with the knife. “It will make a valuable asset to our team” chuckled the man with the shotgun. The sound of the gunshot haunted Matthew’s thoughts. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. A loud rumbling noise behind the bus interrupted his thoughts. Matthew rotated his head and glanced out the window. Another gorilla vehicle pulled up behind the bus. A few more men climbed from the vehicle. These men were more heavily armed than the rest. One of them had an M16 sniper rifle and the rest had either AK-47’s or shotguns. They made their way towards the bus. “The african man with the grey bandana was still holding the shotgun against the drivers head. “Please don’t hurt me” cried the bus driver. Suddenly the bus driver rotated, swinging his arm out, knocking the armed gang member to the ground. He slammed his foot on the accelerator and powered forward in the bus. A man outside the bus with an AK-47 began firing at the driver seat window. The glass exploded in the drivers face and he was knocked into the isle between the two rows of seats. The bus smashed into the bank, causing the windscreen to implode. Screams of terror filled the bus, as the tidal wave of glass showered over the defenseless children. More bullets came through the windows. The children took cover as glass exploded through the buss. One of the gang members took the wheel of the bus and tried to accelerate away from the cliff face. The bus revved as the tires tried to grip on the icy road. The bus continued to skid backwards, by now at least half of the bus was over the cliff face. Another african man jumped aboard the bus, clinging onto the door frame trying to keep steady. Another shudder made another tsunami of glass implode into the bus. The man in the door ways grip weakened and he slipped over the cliff face. The wheels continued to spin as the bus finally lots it’s grip of the cliff and plummeted over the edge. Matthew clutched his arm, the blood continued to seep through his clothing. He had been cut, when the windows exploded. He knew that he had to escape, before impact with the ground, or he would die. He got up, and tried to climb to the higher end of the bus. G-force was pulling him down, but he was determined to survive. He climbed over row after row of seats, beating the odds. Shards of broken glass, sprayed over him as he climbed to safety. Another shudder, shook Matthew from his seat he was thrown like a rag doll, down and isles of seats and slammed against the rear window of the bus. The glass cracked and then shattered. Matthew felt thousands of tiny needles plunge into his back. He gave a wail of pain as G-force pulled him out the window. Matthew clung for his life, hanging off the rubber seal around the back window. He knew he had to get inside the bus, or else he would be crushed, on impact with the ground. His arms strained as he tried to haul his heavy body back inside the bus. Matthew heard the sound of ripping, wrenching and twisting metal as the branches of trees scraped the sides of the bus. He knew, he would be crushed soon. “Please” he begged, hoping that someone could hear him. With one last pull, he swung himself, inside the bus. He took a breath and looked around at his surroundings. Cries came from the eastern side of the bus.

__Tuesday 7th June 2011__

The bus rumbled along the highway. The smallest little bump in the road would cause the entire bus to shudder aggressively. Matthew flung his bag onto the seat behind him. “Watch it” screamed a startled girl in the back seat. She tossed Matthew’s bag back over to him. “Don’t make to many sudden movements” warned the boy sitting in the seat parallel to Matthew’s. The boy had short, black, spiky hair and a sinister grin. “You see, these busses are always slipping off the road. You hear about it all of the time on the news. In fact there is actually a bus that crashed only a few killometres from here and rescue crews are still trying to find the passengers”. It was so cold that Matthew was burning, the stinging from the cold forced sweat from his forehead and down his cheek. “What ever” snapped Matthew. The children sat in silence as the bus’s engine droned on while the bus made it’s way towards the frozen african summit. The locals had claimed that it had been the coldest winter they have had since 1937. Suddenly the bus shuddered recklessly, breaking the silence between the two children. The buss swerved away from the narrow windy road and smashed into the frozen bank of the glacier. Matthew heard a loud crash. He looked out the window and saw the front bumper disappear over the cliff face on the opposite side of the road. Several men rushed onto the bus. Matthew finally noticed the off road vehicle marked with the colours of the gorillas, a local african gang. One man was carrying a shotgun, another was carrying a hunting knife with the blade wickedly sharpened and another man was carrying a colt pistol marked with the U.S.A military colours. The rest were unarmed. “We are taking the bus” ordered the man with a shotgun. The grey bandana around his forehead was scrunched up as his face scowled at the bus driver. “No way” replied the bus driver. The man with the pistol pointed his gun at the him and squeezed the trigger. The bus driver gave a wail of pain and defeat as he clutched his thigh, where the bullet had become lodged. A small crimson circle of blood formed around the bullet hole, staining his jeans. “This will make a good armored bus” informed the man with the knife. “It will make a valuable asset to our team” chuckled the man with the shotgun. The sound of the gunshot haunted Matthew’s thoughts. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. A loud rumbling noise behind the bus interrupted his thoughts. Matthew rotated his head and glanced out the window. Another gorilla vehicle pulled up behind the bus. A few more men climbed from the vehicle. These men were more heavily armed than the rest. One of them had an M16 sniper rifle and the rest had either AK-47’s or shotguns. They made their way towards the bus. “The african man with the grey bandana was still holding the shotgun against the drivers head. “Please don’t hurt me” cried the bus driver. Suddenly the bus driver rotated, swinging his arm out, knocking the armed gang member to the ground. He slammed his foot on the accelerator and powered forward in the bus. A man outside the bus with an AK-47 began firing at the driver seat window. The glass exploded in the drivers face and he was knocked into the isle between the two rows of seats. The bus smashed into the bank, causing the windscreen to implode. Screams of terror filled the bus, as the tidal wave of glass showered over the defenseless children. More bullets came through the windows. The children took cover as glass exploded through the buss. One of the gang members took the wheel of the bus and tried to accelerate away from the cliff face. The bus revved as the tires tried to grip on the icy road. The bus continued to skid backwards, by now at least half of the bus was over the cliff face. Another african man jumped aboard the bus, clinging onto the door frame trying to keep steady. Another shudder made another tsunami of glass implode into the bus. The man in the door ways grip weakened and he slipped over the cliff face. The wheels continued to spin as the bus finally lots it’s grip of the cliff and plummeted over the edge. Matthew clutched his arm, the blood continued to seep through his clothing. He had been cut, when the windows exploded. He knew that he had to escape, before impact with the ground, or he would die. He got up, and tried to climb to the higher end of the bus. G-force was pulling him down, but he was determined to survive. He climbed over row after row of seats, beating the odds.

__Thursday 2nd June 2011__

The bus rumbled along the highway. The smallest little bump in the road would cause the entire bus to shudder aggressively. Matthew flung his bag onto the seat behind him. “Watch it” screamed a startled girl in the back seat. She tossed Matthew’s bag back over to him. “Don’t make to many sudden movements” warned the boy sitting in the seat parallel to Matthew’s. The boy had short, black, spiky hair and a sinister grin. “You see, these busses are always slipping off the road. You hear about it all of the time on the news. In fact there is actually a bus that crashed only a few killometres from here and rescue crews are still trying to find the passengers”. It was so cold that Matthew was burning, the stinging from the cold forced sweat from his forehead and down his cheek. “What ever” snapped Matthew. The children sat in silence as the bus’s engine droned on while the bus made it’s way towards the frozen african summit. The locals had claimed that it had been the coldest winter they have had since 1937. Suddenly the bus shuddered recklessly, breaking the silence between the two children. The buss swerved away from the narrow windy road and smashed into the frozen bank of the glacier. Matthew heard a loud crash. He looked out the window and saw the front bumper disappear over the cliff face on the opposite side of the road. Several men rushed onto the bus. Matthew finally noticed the off road vehicle marked with the colours of the gorillas, a local african gang. One man was carrying a shotgun, another was carrying a hunting knife with the blade wickedly sharpened and another man was carrying a colt pistol marked with the U.S.A military colours. The rest were unarmed. “We are taking the bus” ordered the man with a shotgun. The grey bandana around his forehead was scrunched up as his face scowled at the bus driver. “No way” replied the bus driver. The man with the pistol pointed his gun at the him and squeezed the trigger. The bus driver gave a wail of pain and defeat as he clutched his thigh, where the bullet had become lodged. A small crimson circle of blood formed around the bullet hole, staining his jeans. “This will make a good armored bus” informed the man with the knife. “It will make a valuable asset to our team” chuckled the man with the shotgun. The sound of the gunshot haunted Matthew’s thoughts. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. A loud rumbling noise behind the bus interrupted his thoughts. Matthew rotated his head and glanced out the window. Another gorilla vehicle pulled up behind the bus. A few more men climbed from the vehicle. These men were more heavily armed than the rest. One of them had an M16 sniper rifle and the rest had either AK-47’s or shotguns. They made their way towards the bus. “The african man with the grey bandana was still holding the shotgun against the drivers head. “Please don’t hurt me” cried the bus driver. Suddenly the bus driver rotated, swinging his arm out, knocking the armed gang member to the ground. He slammed his foot on the accelerator and powered forward in the bus. A man outside the bus with an AK-47 began firing at the driver seat window. The glass exploded in the drivers face and he was knocked into the isle between the two rows of seats. The bus smashed into the bank, causing the windscreen to implode. Screams of terror filled the bus, as the tidal wave of glass showered over the defenseless children. More bullets came through the windows. The children took cover as glass exploded through the buss. One of the gang members took the wheel of the bus and tried to accelerate away from the cliff face.

__Monday 30th May 2011__

The bus rumbled along the highway. The smallest little bump in the road would cause the entire bus to shudder aggressively. Matthew flung his bag onto the seat behind him. “Watch it” screamed a startled girl in the back seat. She tossed Matthew’s bag back over to him. “Don’t make to many sudden movements” warned the boy sitting in the seat parallel to Matthew’s. The boy had short, black, spiky hair and a sinister grin. “You see, these busses are always slipping off the road. You hear about it all of the time on the news. In fact there is actually a bus that crashed only a few killometres from here and rescue crews are still trying to find the passengers”. It was so cold that Matthew was burning, the stinging from the cold forced sweat from his forehead and down his cheek. “What ever” snapped Matthew. The children sat in silence as the bus’s engine droned on while the bus made it’s way towards the frozen african summit. The locals had claimed that it had been the coldest winter they have had since 1937. Suddenly the bus shuddered recklessly, breaking the silence between the two children. The buss swerved away from the narrow windy road and smashed into the frozen bank of the glacier. Matthew heard a loud crash. He looked out the window and saw the front bumper disappear over the cliff face on the opposite side of the road. Several men rushed onto the bus. Matthew finally noticed the off road vehicle marked with the colours of the gorillas, a local african gang. One man was carrying a shotgun, another was carrying a hunting knife with the blade wickedly sharpened and another man was carrying a colt pistol marked with the U.S.A military colours. The rest were unarmed. “We are taking the bus” ordered the man with a shotgun. The grey bandana around his forehead was scrunched up as his face scowled at the bus driver. “No way” replied the bus driver. The man with the pistol pointed his gun at the bus driver and squeezed the trigger. The bus driver gave a wail of pain and defeat as he clutched his thigh, where the bullet had become lodged. A small crimson circle of blood formed around the bullet hole, staining his jeans. “This will make a good armored bus” informed the man with the knife. “It will make a valuable asset to our team” chuckled the man with the shotgun. The sound of the gunshot haunted Matthew’s thoughts. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. A loud rumbling noise behind the bus interrupted his thoughts.

__Friday 27th May 2011__

The bus rumbled along the highway. The smallest little bump in the road would cause the entire bus to shudder aggressively. Matthew flung his bag onto the seat behind him. “Watch it” screamed a startled girl in the back seat. She tossed Matthew’s bag back over to him. “Don’t make to many sudden movements” warned the boy sitting in the seat parallel to Matthew’s. The boy had short, black, spiky hair and a sinister grin. “You see, these busses are always slipping off the road. You hear about it all of the time on the news. In fact there is actually a bus that crashed only a few killometres from here and rescue crews are still trying to find the passengers”. It was so cold that Matthew was burning, the stinging from the cold forced sweat from his forehead and down his cheek. “What ever” snapped Matthew. The children sat in silence as the bus’s engine droned on while the bus made it’s way towards the frozen african summit. The locals had claimed that it had been the coldest winter they have had since 1937. Suddenly the bus shuddered recklessly, breaking the silence between the two children. The buss swerved away from the narrow windy road and smashed into the frozen bank of the glacier. Matthew heard a loud crash. He looked out the window and saw the front bumper disappear over the cliff face on the opposite side of the road. Several men rushed onto the bus. Matthew finally noticed the off road vehicle marked with the colours of the gorillas, a local african gang.

__Thursday 26th May 2011__

The bus rumbled along the highway. The smallest little bump in the road would cause the entire bus to shudder aggressively. Matthew flung his bag onto the seat behind him. “Watch it” screamed a startled girl in the back seat. She tossed Matthew’s bag back over to him. “Don’t make to many sudden movements” warned the boy sitting in the seat parallel to Matthew’s. The boy had short, black, spiky hair and a sinister grin. “You these busses are always slipping off the road. You hear about it all of the time on the news. In fact there is actually a bus that crashed only a few killometres from here and rescue crews are still trying to find the passengers”. Elsie Locke 2011

Main characters:

David (kid) Matthew(kid) Zargal (random alien friend) Mad scientist Henchmen Police Bruce (helpful friend of Matthew's father)

Story Line:

While on a camping trip best friends David and Matthew are almost crushed by a giant hunk of metal falling from the sky. When they discover an unusual insect amongst the wreckage the friends decided to adopt it. But when David sneezed the insect licked up all of the mucus on the ground and grew dramatically, so whenever something sneezes the insect would grow, eventually taking the form of a giant destructive alien. Although friendly he can be deadly to anyone who wants to harm him or his new friends. Zargal (the alien) made a large map with his tail in the soil around their camping spot. The boys soon realise that this is where their alien friend needs to go to meet his parents before he goes off into space. So there journey begins, to make it to the top of mount everest in the Himalayas to find the fleet mothership with Zargal’s parents on board. But a photo of the alien was taken on a gas station camera and the mad scientist soon finds out about him. So he sends his henchmen to retrieve him which results in a difficult journey to the Himalayas for Zargal and his four companions.

What was once a peaceful sunny summer afternoon, had suddenly turned into a ferocious storm at the Sunny Lake camping grounds. Clouds circled the campsite like a large vortex waiting patiently, for its dinner to be sucked up into it’s presence. Terrifying winds howled as they rushed across the lake and through the forrest, spraying water everywhere. Davids’s father had left a few hours ago to collect some food from the grocery store. David and Matthew ran inside their tent for shelter. BANG something smashed into the camping ground, destroying half of the tent. David and Matthew scrambled away from the flaming heap of twisted metal. The storm began to clear up almost as soon as this mysterious piece of burning wreckage collided with Earth. The boys stared in awe at the strange thing that had almost killed them. A small insect scuttled from the flames and up Matthew’s leg. “What is it?” asked David. “Aaachooo” sneezed Matthew “I don’t know but I think I’m allergic to it”. The small insect crawled down Matthews leg and scuttled across the dusty ground towards the small puddle of mucus. The thing ate it all up. “Eeeewww, thats disgusting” protested the boys, as the small insect licked up all of Matthews snot. Suddenly the creature began to grow eventually becoming the size of a small microwave. By the end of the day the small creature had grown to the size of a large military tank. Late that night The large creature made it’s way over to David. Their Father still hadn’t returned. “Please jooo must heeelp me” grumbled the alien. David looked up. “What do you want help with?” David asked. “Joo must take mee to faa top of your great mountaaaain, my famileeeey waits for meee their”. The large alien like beast held up a photo of a tall mountain. “I neeeed to go tooo mountaaain Evereeest in the Himilayaaaas” informed the creature. “We will help you” promised David sincerely. “No we won’t” complained Mattehew, finnaly waking up.